- Anti Joke

What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

aodhan hearty

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

Finding TWO worms in your apple.

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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