What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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