Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Hello penis

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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João Duarte reads this.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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stinky boner

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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