Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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