Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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