What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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