What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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What's beneath Chuck Norris's beard? A chin I presume, as that is what most humans have under their beards. Chuck Norris is a human and therefore is likely to have a chin. This is all based on the assumption that he is a human, because of the many characteristics he has shown that are humanlike.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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