What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops