Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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Starting a Genocide #YOLO

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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