how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

a man checks his mypsace

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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