Fine, ladies first.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Your mam is so fat.

Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

Yo Momma is not fat.

An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

field day?

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

Guest what in the butt

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Rebecca Blacks walk into a bar. She gets shot.

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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