Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Diarrhea

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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