Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hats better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I had 99 problems Solved them all

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops