What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

Your big dick.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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