What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops