Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops