TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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What's funnier than an anti-joke? Sarcasm.

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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