Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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