Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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