what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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9/11 my birthday

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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