A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Matthew Baker

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops