Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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