The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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GOODBYE

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A young baby died.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops