What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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