Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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