Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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