Whats 1+1? window!

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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Poop...

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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