why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Whats funny? Your face.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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