A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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