Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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breasts

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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