How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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whats long and black? a baton

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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YOU

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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