A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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My jeans

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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