You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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PENIS lol

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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