Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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