Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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hey hey apple

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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