How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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