Immigration Laws

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you gay?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with its grandmother who just happened to live on the other side of the road because the doctor had said this could possibly be her last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops