How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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#Last Christmas I gave you my heart #And as far as I know #The transplant was a complete sucess #And you have recovered from your operation #And are now well again #This year to save me from tears #I'll donate my kidneys

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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u know whats a crime? rape

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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