whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Justin Bieber

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Ehh

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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