What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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What's half of 8? o

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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Heskey time.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops