The bears will win the Super Bowl

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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a chinese man pays the full price

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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