A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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the lemon was sweet.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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How did th-A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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