Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

How does a black guy die? Unknown

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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