what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Why did the gay guy go in the bar? To find some hookers

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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