Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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A disabled man walked into a- That can't be right

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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