What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops