A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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