Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops