Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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