What do you call white trash Garbage

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

Your gay

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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