My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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