-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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TOP KEK

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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