Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the black women name her child jamaal

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops